The Gitmo Diet

http://www.foxnews.com/projects/pdf/GTMO-menu.pdf

As you know by now, if you've got a pulse, Gitmo detainees are claiming abuses at the hands of American guards. They claim they are beaten. They claim they are humiliated. They claim they are mocked. They claim they are forced to watch the Koran being desecrated. (These claims gained some credibility after we saw the pictures from Abu Ghraib but they lost some credibility when we found Al Quaida training manuals that tell prisoners to claim they are being abused.)

Our government's response was to publish the rules that guards follow at Gitmo in regards to treatment of prisoners and treatment of the Koran. In a much mocked press conference the detainee's menu was touted as further proof that prisoners are being treated well while in American custody.

The Gitmo Diet, it turns out, really is very good. As we've come to expect in this country, prisoners are treated pretty well. Public schools should offer the kind of food that our enemies are receiving. The complimentary breakfast at my last couple of hotels weren't this good.

The devil on my left shoulder wishes we were actually beating and torturing these detainees who envision a world without the USA and would be lining up to chop off our heads were we in their prison camps.

The angel on my right shoulder is really proud of my country as we provide better care to our enemies than they've received in their lives and the worst we've done is Abu Ghraib.

Give the Gitmo Diet a try... it doesn't have the glamorous name like South Beach and it doesn't have bacon as a side dish but the Gitmo Diet just might work for you.