Thursday, July 21, 2005

The Gitmo Diet

http://www.foxnews.com/projects/pdf/GTMO-menu.pdf

As you know by now, if you've got a pulse, Gitmo detainees are claiming abuses at the hands of American guards. They claim they are beaten. They claim they are humiliated. They claim they are mocked. They claim they are forced to watch the Koran being desecrated. (These claims gained some credibility after we saw the pictures from Abu Ghraib but they lost some credibility when we found Al Quaida training manuals that tell prisoners to claim they are being abused.)

Our government's response was to publish the rules that guards follow at Gitmo in regards to treatment of prisoners and treatment of the Koran. In a much mocked press conference the detainee's menu was touted as further proof that prisoners are being treated well while in American custody.

The Gitmo Diet, it turns out, really is very good. As we've come to expect in this country, prisoners are treated pretty well. Public schools should offer the kind of food that our enemies are receiving. The complimentary breakfast at my last couple of hotels weren't this good.

The devil on my left shoulder wishes we were actually beating and torturing these detainees who envision a world without the USA and would be lining up to chop off our heads were we in their prison camps.

The angel on my right shoulder is really proud of my country as we provide better care to our enemies than they've received in their lives and the worst we've done is Abu Ghraib.

Give the Gitmo Diet a try... it doesn't have the glamorous name like South Beach and it doesn't have bacon as a side dish but the Gitmo Diet just might work for you.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Physics, plain and simple

If a person were to accidentally get the heel of their left hand between the sharp end of a wonderbar and the blunt force of a 3lb engineer's hammer that person could reasonably expect the blade of the wonderbar to go completely through the heel of their hand and meet the face of the hammer. Ask me how I know this.

My fence project, my guitar lessons and my weight lifting are all on a temporary hold while my left hand heals. Luckily, I can still type.

I went for a walk with the divine Mrs. L last night. Much to her delight (sarcasm), I caught a small garter snake as we walked. I carried it home in my hand and shared the joy with my sons. We took pictures of each of them holding the frightened little snake. I offered to let Mrs. L hold it but surprisingly, she declined. George, as the boys named it in the 10 minutes it was in our house, was too beautiful to keep so I let it go in the front yard where it quickly disappeared into the thick grass and the night.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Where is Amnesty International when you need them?

One of the only humorous stories to come out of the War on Terror is also one of my favorites. It involves an interrogation method that might not even violate the sensibilities of the bleeding heart, appeasement advocating, blame-America-first crowd.

Here's how it works: Detainees are milling about their prison camp in Afghanistan or Iraq when three or four US soldiers enter the yard, escorting an officer of the Egyptian army. (The Egyptian officer is actually an American who appears to be Egyptian and speaks flawless Arabic with an Egyptian accent.) The soldiers begin to "assess" the detainees one by one. They look them up and down and seem to offer advice or opinions to the Egyptian officer. Upon the Egyptian officer's command the US soldiers write the name of a country on a large piece of masking tape and place the tape across the detainee's chest. Overall, the detainees are given the impression that they are to be sent to the country whose name is written on their chest. This is terrifying to the detainees because they know how they will be treated in a country like Egypt or Jordan. They've never been treated as well as they are being treated in American custody and the threat of being taken out of American hands and delivered into Arab hands is, to put it mildly, highly motivational. The American interrogators leave the yard and within an hour, every single detainee with tape on his chest begins to fain illness and once removed from the yard offers to tell everything to avoid being sent to another country. Apparently, this little deception is greatly enhanced by the weekly planes taking detainees from these prisons to Guantanamo.

I really enjoyed this story because it demonstrated that one of the best tactics in this war is not harmful or hateful but simply creative thinking and problem solving and finding a way to use what you already have at hand... in short, American ingenuity.

Friday, July 08, 2005

God bless America, land that I love

It's really tempting to let the fourth of July be a day to enjoy barbecue and fireworks. It's easy to mow the yard and wash the car and spend the evening with friends, having a meal, having a drink, watching the colorful explosions in the night sky. But, few things that are easy are worth doing.

Those fireworks are to remind us of the explosions of war, the bombs that burst in the air but couldn't knock down the flag that stands for freedom, the cannon that took young American lives but not America.

In the midst of a war, and with the very real threat of terrorist attacks on our own soil it's much harder to pause and consider what those fireworks are really about. But it's worth doing.

Look for those stars and stripes. Look for those jets in the sky. Look for those soldiers who wear the uniform so that you and I don't have to. Look at the news tonight and remember that lives have been given in defense of American freedom for over 200 years now. That will not ever end. But it's worth doing.